Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Delicious "Fettucine Carbonara"!

I remember the first time i went into an Italian Restaurant was way back in December 24th, 2004. Me & the Horny One were in our 3rd Year of University. Since our housemates have all gone back to their respective hometowns, me and the Horny One decided to have a sweet, candle light Christmas Eve Dinner together.

After driving around the town of Georgetown, Penang, we finally decided to crash into Ristorante Bella Italia, @ Pulau Tikus.... Hahaha... Making a rash decision of entering a fine dining restaurant was so NOT us because we were still students back then and thriftiness is synonymous with Simon Lover.

I can't really recall what we ordered exactly, but one thing for sure, I had my first Fettucine Carbonara ever on that beautiful night while the Horny One had a Pepperoni Pizza. As for the drinks, i think we only had warm water ( Hahahaha...Kiam Siap! Stingy! ) and there were no desserts. The romantic candle-lit atmosphere though, was enough to make us "full" for that night, whilst making some other guests to puke as well, especially seeing two gay-boys "pak-tor'ing" in the restaurant! Hahaha....

Ahhh....Sweet Memories indeed. =)

So, what is the story above has any connections with today's post?!!!!

Hahahahaha...Actually None-lor! It was just a coincidence that i bumped into some gay comics in this blog, Alessio In Wonderland, that somehow managed to project the preparation of a plate of fettucine carbonara into a provocative fucking frenzy!

Hahahaha. hope you guys enjoy the Fettucine Carbonara that i have prepared for you guys ya! Muacks from Simon Lover!

Haha..I guess that old lady has never tasted cum before-lor!.......

( p/s: For those who have seen the post earlier on @about 6.30 - 11.00 pm, this is the updated version because i accidentally missed out two captions of the comic! - My apologies ya. )

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Finally, Ricky Martin Is Gay!

Yesterday, the hot Latin singer, Ricky Martin made a big announcement in his Twitter, confirming that he is, GAY, afterall, ending years of speculations on his sexuality.

 Finally Ricky is Livin' La Vida Loca by coming out!

In a statement on his website, Ricky Martin says: "I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am."

It took him 38 years to have the courage to tell the world that he is GAY. Well, we can't blame him either since he's a major superstar in the entertainment world.

So there goes another celebrity that has become One Of Us. All the best to Ricky Martin and his Twin Sons, Matteo and Valentino, that were born from a surrogate mother, back in Aug 2008. -

( Hmm.. I wonder how will his sons think, having a gay father, in the future.A very tricky scenario isn't it. And i wonder by having a single gay father bringing up a son, will it somehow affect the son's sexuality as well?! Hahaha - Just a thought ma... )

Ricky & sons, Matteo, Valentino.

Here are some of the pics taken in 2005 of Ricky Martin in Speedos & having a beach-ful outing with his guy friend.

( Obviously, wearing SPEEDOs is definitely a BIG NO-NO for the Americans. With Ricky Martin prancing around in Speedos with another Speedo Guy, how GAY can it be to the Americans?!!! 

- For us Asians, i think it's still a normal scene to see straight guys prancing around in sexy speedos...Don't you guys agree? I have seen guys in ultra tight, skimpy swim trunks & yet they are straight! For the Americans, any guys who wear Speedos at the Pool/Beach is automatically labelled as GAY. 

I have googled before, "Why Americans hate Speedos?" and you can see all sorts of emotional arguments that you can only see in America. Well, guess the Americans love to be different eh. Notice how they pronounce "flour"?!..... )


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hot Vietnamese Underwear Male Model - Le Minh Hieu!

Le Minh Hieu burst into the modeling scene when he was picked as the first male model for Vietnam's hottest underwear brand, Seahorse, last year. He's a 22-year old, Ho Chi Minh University student ( 2009 ) and here are some of his pictures that i've found on the net. Enjoy!

( Wow! There are quite alot of other handsome Viet male models as well. Keep your fingers crossed as i shall post more of them in the future ya! )

I like his well-toned body. Very proportionate. Plus the cute, pointy nipples as well! Hehe

For more info on Le Minh Hieu, you can visit some of the sites below
(p/s:  Hmm...How come i didn't have any encounter with these kind of hot studs when i visited Hanoi, Vietnam, last year?!!! -- So Unfair!!!!! - Though the super-cute, ever smiling, younger brother of the Hotel's Ladyboss kinda made up for the disappointments! Hehehehe )

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Disastrous Massage Experience - FC Massage, KL

Two weeks ago, Me & The Horny One paid our maiden visit to FC Massage Centre, Taman Connaught, Cheras, Kuala Lumpur, after reading some favourable reviews at's Forum. Furthermore, it has one additional advantage which is, all the masseurs are Chinese! - Hehehe

One Fine Night, me & The Horny had two available options -- Either go to Kakiku Sauna or have a relaxing massage. Somehow or rather, fate has it, i made a wrong turning somewhere along Jalan Loke Yew. Thus massage was the only viable option then.

Taken from their website...

The thoughts of being massaged by cute chinese guys kept playing in our minds during the journey to Taman Connaught. We reached there at about 8.00pm. It was drizzling [ why did we missed the omen of something bad which is goin' to happen?!! ] and we entered the premis, located on the upper floor of a shophouse, just beside a corner chinese restaurant.

The thoughts of naked massage? Hehehehe..hamsap!

There were about 5 masseurs available at that moment. We asked the Young, Chinese-Ah Beng style Captain, to recommend which masseur that have better massage skills. We picked our masseurs and were escorted to our massage cubicles soon after.

These are some of the masseurs. We can't really rmbr which one is ours since they barely talk to us and the room was too dark....I think mine is Boy K3 and Horny One is not in the picture, kot.

The room was quite dark. It had a mattress on the floor and thin partitions. It didn’t have a door, only a curtain. In most of the places that i have been, usually they will give us a few minutes to prepare our stripping session and hide our valuables under the mattress. But over here, as i was just lifting up my T-Shirt, the masseur has magically entered in and i had no choice but to give that bugger a free strip-tease show lor!!!!

I proceed to lie naked on the bed with my face down. The pillow was too soft and i had to support my face with my arms as well. Without wasting any time - not even a short introduction of his name - he begin the massage session on my shoulder. The massage was only so-so, to me. The music played in the background was too loud. Hence, it took me about 10 minutes to find an opportunity for a slow, soft song to be played and finally i get to open my mouth and asked a few questions.

( all the conversations are in Cantonese k )
Simon : Hi! What's is your name?
Him    : I'm Edwin.
Simon : So, how long have you been working here?
Edwin : About 2 months,
Simon : Oh, okay. Who taught you how to massage?
Edwin : No one.
Simon : Huh?!!! No one?! Then, how you know how to massage?
Edwin : Well, i have to learn it by myself. Each time i have a customer, i will trial-and-error on them. Massage is a common-sense kinda skill what. You can learn different skills everyday and get feedbacks from your customer.

That explains why his massage skills involve only 1 kind of stroke. Kheksei. But at least, he has quite strong arms. Further conversations included:

Simon : How come today not many people working?
Edwin : Some of them went for dinner, while some have out-calls.
Simon : Oh. Out-calls. Nice. Remember to wear protections ya!
Edwin : Oh, sorry! No fucking for me. I just do body-to-body massage only. No more else.

However, he doesn't talk much. Most of the conversations were initiated by me. If not, i thought i was being massaged by a mute guy pulak! Anyhow, standard massage steps were done by him.The shoulder, neck, back, buttocks ( I just had a two-day afternoon swimming session and my butt-tan line was at it's best since ages ago. And i thought i might get some sexy compliments from the massuer tim, Which, Unfortunately, a definitely nay from the quiet one! ), thighs, legs, the chest [ Haha..The only time where my cock came alive! The eroticsm that you get from the dripping of massage oil, with the masseur on top of you and carressing your body all over, it's difficult not to get an erection lor - especially you are totally naked in front of a stranger. ].

But one thing i don't like about having an early erection is that, everytime the masseur sees it, he couldn't resist the temptation to proceed with the groin area. Why? -
#1: He can ends the session earlier. Most of the time, after the customer ejaculated, the customer is already not in the mood of any sexy-massage.
#2: He is trying his luck to get some Tips.

The compulsory "Urut Batin" ( Manhood massage ) was basically just another "Hand-Job" session. No massage pressures were applied except for the super-fast up-down-up-down motion on your shaft. But i politely declined the masseur when i was about to ejaculate ( I'm saving it for a rainy day? - Hehehe ). And my massage session lasted about 50 minutes only. The masseur begin to pack his things slowly with some lingering moments. Sensing that someone was actually indirectly waiting for some tips, i played along with his lingering tactics by slowly dressing up! - Well, i'm not going to tip a guy who gave me one of the least memorable massages, right?!!!

Hand-Job massage anyone?

The Horny One's experience was even worse! The masseur opened his mouth only twice : "Name: Ah Sang" - And "Please turn around" - after finishing massaging the back portion.

Massage oil was splashed all over his body, superseded by a hasty palms that feels like they are catching the heaven door for re-incarnation!! ( Hahaha - A direct translation from a cantonese proverb ). The guy has tattoos all over his arms and from his behavior & actions, the Horny One guessed he picked a straight one. The massage pressure was too strong and the masseur even stand on top of his back, a-la Lydia Sum massage style! That cost the Horny One to have some muscle-sores and a few black spots on his back for the next few days!

They did not even bother to switch on the air-conditioner, leaving the Horny One sweaty like hell before the Horny One demanded it to be on! And in about 30 minutes, the whole session ended! What The Fuck?!!! - In my room, i have just flipped over for my front-body massage before my masseur commented,"Eh, how come so fast one your friend finish?!!"- The Horny One was already not in the mood, hence, did not even bother to argue with the massuer & Captain for the bad service.

The services & rates available at FC Massage...

One of the reasons the session ended earlier was maybe because we chose the Normal Massage, RM40 and not their forte massage, which is the Naked Body-To-Body Massage RM69. Furthermore, we look like twinks and not the typical uncles, ah peks that frequently visit this kinda centres that can afford to shower them with lot's of extra gifts, $$$ for pleasuring them. Hence, the masseurs have a pre-conceived thinking that they won't be getting much tips by massaging us. Thus, it explains why the "nonchalant", bad services given to us.

Worst still, if you are lucky enough to get Straight Masseurs like the Horny One. Straight masseurs usually give the worst massage ever and i do not know why, massage centres keep hiring them!!! Because these straight bastards usually work for the money and somehow, i think they also felt disgusted servicing & pleasuring these bunch of perverted, sinful homosexuals. That is why, most of the time, the faster they massage or the faster they help their customer ejaculate, then the faster they can get out from the room.

Furthermore, straight Chinese guys, being the typical materialistic Chinese, Money is the most important thing. If he sense that he's not getting any TIPS from you, that's it. He'll just cincai massage you. Unlike the Malays or Borneo Guys where they tend to stick to the 1-hour time-frame.

Faster cum lar, u fucking faggots!

However, Gay masseurs have their own weaknesses as well. Gay masseurs tend to get excited when they see a handsome customer. So, the standard massage steps are reduced, focusing instead on the buttocks, groins and fore-play. Some do not even care about the money just as long as they can "have fun" with their lengchai customers - It's understandable too since most of their customers are from the age of 35 yo and above.

The Horny One even had the time to snap a picture of those cheaters in the lobby room.

I do not wish to comment on other massage centres at the moment, in short, all i can say that, if you want a straight-forward, relaxing massage, DO NOT GO to FC MASSAGE! It's one of the worst Massage Centres for a good massage.

(  However, if you want some "action" Body-To-Body Massage, 24-Hour "Outcall" Massage or other "services" besides massage, FC Massage is one of the place to go.You have been warned! )

link within

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