Is He Or Isn't He?

To you guys who missed this article which appeared on The Star newspaper, 24 May 2012, which really relates many of the trauma that we gays faced every single day .......

And how we wish life nowadays are as simple as back then ... No one will query your sexuality if you are not married yet ....

Is He Or Isn’t He?
So Aunty, So What?
By June H. L. Wong


The dating-mating game has become more complicated because it’s getting harder to tell who’s gay and who’s not.

BOY meets girl. Boy courts girl. Boy marries girl. That was how the dating-mating game was played during my courting days and still is, to a large extent.

If a girl found a boy cute, she would send out signals she was available. Hopefully he found her cute too and he would make the first move and so on and so forth.

If there was no chemistry, then that was basically it. My generation did not dwell on other reasons to explain the lack of interest in either party.

But now there are subtle changes to how the game is played. Now if a girl finds a guy attractive, she may hesitate because she can’t assume he’s into girls.

I’m not sure if guys face the same problem, but the modern single girl’s lament is: all the good guys are either too under-achieving, too creepy, too boring, already married or … gay.

Which girl wants to flirt with a guy only to face the embarrassment of rejection because he is just not interested in the female sex?

The problem is the better looking and more buffed the guy is, the higher the probability he is gay.

Gerald Lim - Is he Gay Or Is he not?! 

--- You guys want the answer? =P

Which is what happened to a 30-something friend. Months earlier, she excitedly told me about a dishy guy she had met at the gym and thought they had something going.

Last week, she sadly shared that it wasn’t going anywhere after all because she suspects he’s gay.

Poor thing. Generally, one should be able to pick out the mannerisms that mark a fellow as gay but the gaydar (gay + radar) isn’t always foolproof.

Case in point: I met two men on separate occasions in one day and both times my gaydar failed me. One fellow was rather dandy with a foppish hairstyle and a debonair air. The other guy spotted a buzz cut, had what looked like a wedding ring and seemed quite macho. Guess who was straight and who was not.

Back in the 1990s, gay guys wore a diamond stud in their left ear lobe as a discreet sign. Now even heterosexual men wear it on the left, right and even both ears.

So many cute boys nowadays!!! You tell me, don't they look prettier than ladies?!!!! It puts a guy in a difficult situation where the have to think whether to have sex with the boy above or with a girl instead!!! Plus, hooking up with a cute boy is easier than touching a girl's hand!!! 

The advent of pretty Korean actors and singers who have hordes of females – from teens to aunties – swooning over them have made it even harder to sort the men from the other men.

I suppose that’s why some quarters in the country are so freaked out over the growing presence of LGBTs. It really turns the traditional date and mate process inside out. To these people, it’s “unnatural” and so on.

Growing up, I never wondered if any of my friends or classmates were straight or gay. At most, we had tomboys in my convent school whom some girls had crushes over. But it was something we were expected to grow out of.

The effeminate one ... Isn't he cute in the first place?

Teenagers these days know about homosexuality, and most seem to take it in their stride. My 18-year-old son is very good at hamming it up with the effeminate gestures and the poses. He used to tease me with the question: “Mum, what if I am gay?” … until he had his first girlfriend.

None of my siblings and I ever posed that question to our parents as it never entered our blinkered little minds. After all, we lived in an era when we believed the finest specimens of “real” men were Hollywood heart-throbs Rock Hudson and Richard Chamberlain. Look how that turned out.

It was also an era when if you remained unmarried, you were simply the old maid or the confirmed old bachelor who just didn’t meet the right one of the opposite sex.

It didn’t occur to us that some of these people didn’t marry because they couldn’t marry someone of the same sex. The reverse is happening now, especially where men are concerned: Eh, this old uncle still not married? Must be queer.

I wonder what will people comment about this cutie when he gets old ....

The practice now is to put a gay spin on just about anything. My favourite book is The Lord of the Rings with its cast of mostly male characters on a quest to save their world.

After the movies came out, jokes were a-plenty over the relationship between Legolas and Gimli, Sam and Frodo and even between Aragorn and Legolas.

Well, joke all we like but gay people don’t want to hide or pretend any more, so over the years, we have seen lots of celebrities coming out of the closet: George Michael, Ellen DeGeneres, Ricky Martin, Jodie Foster, Sir Ian McKellan, George (Star Trek’s Mr Sulu) Takei, Zachary Pinto to name a few.

And no matter how hard some people might want to slam the closet doors shut again and put a big lock on it, I don’t think it can be done. Maybe that’s why US President Barack Obama decided to take that political gamble and back same-sex marriages.

What can be done, however, is to remember we are all human beings and everyone deserves to be treated with respect, understanding and compassion.

To my son’s question, my reply was: “I would prefer you not to be gay but if you are, it will not change my love for you.”

He found it awesome. As he said: “Damn straight, mum.”

But puhlezzz .....  Hot guys with baby doesn't mean that they are not one of us!!!! Can anyone detect which Hot Father below is Gay?!!! 

( Mind sharing if anyone of you know any story of real life bisexual husbands ?  )

Lastly, we'll need to wait another 10 more years to read the success stories of children brought up by gay father-mother since this trend had just started during the noughties....