Horny BF Rants : Stealing Da Limelight

A short note to all avid readers of Welcome to the World of Simon Lover (geez, that's LOOOONNNNGG ....almost as long as Horny BF's ... =P), pardon the lack of updates for Simon's kidnapped, trapped, tortured and bound right here where he rightfully belongs.

Muahahaha ...... Yeah. Long weekend here, hence I get the lion's share of that dear cutie butt. ;)

But rest assured he'll be back in action ( wait, he's perpetually in action, isn't he?) in a day or two. Or when Horny BF relents and frees poor Simon from the chamber.

No nude, nor half-naked guys prancing around in this post. I can't be bothered to search for them, especially when the weekend's too sweet to resist.

So how's everyone's Christmas preparation coming along now? Fine? Planning to send me a gift, for being such an angel (albeit the red horns )? Hehehehe ... WHAT? I can please myself by abusing Simon's space here, can't I? After all, who in his right mind would be working in the most mundane of office environment on a lovely Saturday evening?!! So please let me sulk. While Simon's away on his shopping spree.

Why do I get the feeling that whatever he's buying, nothing's in it for the Horny BF? Hmmmmm ahem ahem.

But seriously, exchanging gifts has somewhat been a lost art in our 7 years plus relationship. Maybe the passion has dwindled? The heat has dissipated? Or maybe, just maybe, it's enough to know that your other half cares for you as much, and no amount of material possessions can measure up to that?

Yadda yadda ... another one of those Love Conquers All concept? Bleurgh!!!! ( I see you grabbing for that potty there!)

Wrap myself up and save $$$ and lessen the grey hair? Nah ....

Talking about the long holidays, I am sure most of you are knee-deep, or maybe neck-deep in your respective shopping spree? Eagerly anticipating for your wishlist to come true, while on the other hand knowing so well you've to sacrifice something in return. (There IS a reason it's called Gift-Exchanging okay?!)

And yes, this time I AM talking about worldly, material stuff here. For me, personally, the list runs sooooo farkin' deep, I'd probably be punished in my after life for destroying those trees that coughed up the papers I write them on. ;)

Or maybe I should have wished for World Peace instead?

Technically speaking, presenting and receiving gifts can be such fun, or bore, depending on who you exchanged it with, and most vitally, WHAT you got in return. I once got some ornaments so generic, I wished I could shove them up the person's a$$ there and then. But of course, I dared not, for I packed some measly tokens myself (those used for the gaming machines in indoor theme parks) and presented them in a most splendid manner - a chic, retro-style ring box. Except when he gave that petite box a little shake, the clanking sounds of those coins-like steel tokens turned his face from a glowing red to a S&M-suffocated blue.

And at that moment, I just knew he was wishing he could shove those 10 pcs of tokens up either end of my orifices. LOL.

Love thy nature, embrace the feeling of prickly grasses and all .... just don't go rolling when the field's infested with leeches ......

Which brought me to another brilliant option - a simple dinner. You know, those seemingly SIMPLE X'mas deals, when you pay through your nose for some slices of roasted tree bark turkey, a glass of house wine (read : A cheapo who pays peanuts got himself a glass only) and some sickeningly sweet X'mas puddings (talk bout puddings, I'd take those jiggly, collagen-pumped derrieres anyday!). Yeah, costing almost a bomb and yet you either walk out feeling tipsy (from the bill, mind you. NOT the wine), or swearing you'll never fall for such trickery again! (But of course, you do, after repeated failed attempts not to ... )

Anyone up for a smooch?!

I leave things up to your imagination. And keeping my fingers crossed now ..... Smacking my lips in anticipation for that element of surprise (or lack thereof).

What are YOU buying for your loved one? Or loved ONES? Or even friends, relatives, family? Or better yet, send them over to Horny BF's empty, vacuum mailbox. Sob sob ......

Merry X'mas, Everyone. And pardon me for the incessant ramblings. That's just Horny BF for ya.