Monday, May 17, 2010

The Law Of Attraction!

Have you guys ever heard of "The Law Of Attraction"?

From wikipedia :

" The Law Of Attraction refers to the idea that thoughts influence chance. It argues that thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) can affect things outside the head. The Law may be explained as an illusion created by the connection between self confidence and success or ones own perception, like the placebo effect."

Or in a more simple explanation : 
 " For example: There is no parking space during lunch time. So, in your mind, you keep thinking and telling to yourself " Sure got parking...Sure got parking...Sure got parking.... and repeat it for few thousand times....And voila! An empty parking spot not long after....Just like the optimism that you have anticipated! "

"And the same goes for " Sure got SEX tonight..Sure got SEX tonight...Sure got SEX tonight...and you keep on chanting till i'm sure your Night will be a memorable one soon! ---- Hahahaha, anyone cares to try it and share with us, whether it works?! 

So, the other day i was driving on the North-South Expressway, after passing through the tunnel & was heading down the hill to Ipoh.....There was one police patrol car driving at a "respectable" speed [ or rather, fucking slow & causing a minor jam on the left lane ].

So, i wouldn't want to take any chances in overtaking the police car because Malaysia's police car are notorious for purposely driving at a speed slower than the speed limit [ or rather, NOTORIOUS for their dirty tactics because this is one of their thousand ways, where they can catch the people who overtook them and frame them for driving faster than the speed limit, even though they are not!!  ] 
-- Yes, Ian & Rob -- Welcome To Malaysia!

However, that day, I saw a few cars that overtook the police car and nothing happened to them.  So, in my mind..."I was telling it to myself -- Sure nothing bad will happen ... Sure nothing bad will happen ...." and i overtook the police car at 80  kmph and drove back to the left lane after that.

But, just my luck...The fucking Police Car decided to overtake me instead ....While overtaking..I can see the policeman on the passenger seat looking suspiciously at me.....So, in my mind again .... " Wah, don't tell me i'm that lucky?!!! " -- And with the Law Of Attraction, -- The stupid police car decided to switch on their siren and flagged me to pullover --- Fuckers......

  Come to Papa, you slutty twink!

Immediately after stopping at the roadside, i quickly took out my wallet and hide all my money under my seat, leaving only RM20 ( USD 5.60 )  inside. -- For those who are not Malaysians, this is a situation whereby nearly 90% of Malaysian Police, will indirectly require you to flash your wallet --  Indirectly indicating how much bribe they can solicit from us. They will show no mercy and we know that, whatever amount in your wallet, they will demand it fully - Even the RM20 ! --- Yes, Ian & Rob again -- Welcome To Malaysia! 

Mr.Simon Lover, please get off your car and spread your arms on the bonnet....!!
Simon Lover : Yes...Mr. Policeman.Please be gentle k. ( Now, who wouldn't, you tell me?!!!! - hahaha )

So, the two police man came out of their car and begin walking towards me:

Police : Encik, IC dan Lesen Memandu... ( My identification card & driving license )
Simon : Ya..Encik.
( while the other police man went around checking out my car - looking for possible offences that i might commit..e.g. epxired Road Tax, non-functional 3rd Break Light because for the policeman, it also means that they can ask higher bribes for more number of offences.....)

Police :  Encik, tadi you tak pakai seat belt ( Just now you didn't wear seat belt -- Well, at that moment i have already unbuckled my seat belt in order to reach my wallet & hide my $$$ ma.... )

Now, I don't ever recall seeing a hot, smiling policeman in Malaysia before!!!! 

Simon : Huh?! Ada...Siapa kata saya tak pakai seat belt?!!!! ( Got - Who says i didn't wear ? )
Police :  Ada..Rakan saya tadi nampak. Jangan ingat kami tidak tahu. ( My colleague saw it just now, don;t think we don't know! )

Simon : Oh. Sebab saya punya seat belt ada ini ma ( showing my seat belt clipper - which clips my seat belt, making it less tight ). Saya ada mesyuarat kat hospital ini. Saya pakai ini sebab saya tak nak baju saya berkedut-kedut ma.... ( I'm use my seat belt clipper cuz i do not want to make my work shirt all wrinkled up for my meeting later )

Police : Listening to my explanation, looking at my demonstration as well as sensing that my case has no prima facie jurisdiction ( Or rather -- Failed Bribery attempts ).......Ok lar. Nah..IC/ Lesen...and left without any apologies..

I was let off the hook, just like that....What the FUCK.....You see... That is why Malaysia's Transparency International (TI) Corruption Perception Index (CPI) ranking has been dropping drastically over the years
1995 - #23
2005 - #39
2009 - #56
( Singapore #4, Australia #9, USA #20, South Africa #56, Turkey #61 )

Of all people and of all cars, why would they want waste their precious time to stop a smart looking, twinkish looking guy, fully attired in work clothes, driving a 1.3L Perodua at 80kmph and with a government name tag clipped on him, in harbouring hopes of getting a few hundred bribe money?!!!.....

Instead of chasing those Mercedez Benz(es) that drive 210kmph or suspicious looking lorries/vans/trailers or staying put to their main aim of preserving the law and order in Malaysia?!!!!!

Sigh...That's the perception of the majority of Malaysians towards their Man With The Golden Gun. How sad isn't it? ....Sigh......

The Moral Of The Story : 
Do not Attract The "Law". The "Law" Will Attract You  at Anytime, Anywhere, and Anyhow in Malaysia!

Anyway, how nice if we can just hope and pray that our Men In Blue will someday. also look as gorgeous as these handsome hunks below?!!!!

Taken from the Joe Lally Photography, titled, "Sex Is Not The Enemy" in his blog featuring two of the Hottest Male Models at the moment, Chad White and Kerry Degman!

 Yeah Baby! I know you want me!

 Come and spank me!

I "shot" the Sheriff...But i did not "shoot" the deputy.....
( Hahaha...Of course, unless the person is capable of multiple ejaculations in one hot session! )

Who wants to break his G-String and perform BrokeBack Mountain eh?!!!

 The gorgeous CHAD WHITE!

And i wouldn't mind going to jail with a bunch of hotties like below! 

Or being shoved up in the arse by CHAD WHITE!!!! -
Hahahahaha! Ooops! Behave, Simon Lover! 


Paul Figaro J said...

those hamsap pictures got nothing to do with ur post pun!!!!
btw...once i was stop by police for not wear seat belt...seeing he kinda cute, i flirt with him like maka manja kinda thing, he kinda happy with smiley face and let me go.

William said...

"Encik tadi tak pakai seluar..."

the happy go lucky one said...

sigh... this is malaysia, no eye see!

Sofi said...

nasib baik u x kene tembak! police nowdays suka tembak orang merata-rata .. huhuhuhu

blue said...

so bad luck ah... once i was speeding on the road near workplace too...but luckily i was saved by the BMW in front of me! So instead of me kena, the BMW kena lo...can drive BMW sure more duit-kopi to give ma..

simonlover said...

@Paul: Got ma. Sexy guys in policeman attire what....

@Sofi: Haha...Ya ke? Saya tak perasan polis sekarang suka "tembak" merata-rata? Tapi kebanyakan kualiti tak bagus...Hahahaha. Kena memilih sedikit..

Anonymous said...

Paul: You don't know meh? This Simon likes to post pics one. Such a small short story also can put in so many UNRELATED pics. Hahaha!!!

Sofi: Kelakarlah you ni.

kidz said...

lol.. this is so funny... like imagination vs reality..

David Snow said...

Aiyo Simon.. It's common sense la I think.
BMW cars all can outrun police car ma.. They where can chase? So when they see your car, they say "Hah! Easy money! Faster chase, sure can catch up one!"

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you were not fined because you have a sweet innocent face. Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth etc. Bangkok cops are better - slender with skin tight uniforms. So hot. And I have X-ray eyes. - Ian

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